PasqalYou easily bypass the restrictions imposed on the sacred machine. The cogitator's overloaded processors whirr unhappily.
PasqalMost of the encrypted data has been wiped — you find traces of the purge protocol. Recovery is impossible, but a list of the most recent commands, having been embedded in the machine spirit's consciousness, now flits across the screen in a single creeping line: "ChildDeletePictFlowDisableAccessCodeAnnulStationControlsDeleteActivateShuttleSelfdestructPurgeCommandLog..."
PasqalExploring the archives for a while longer yields a surviving excerpt from the guard captain's report mentioning that the security system had recently been reconfigured without his knowledge. His comment reads: "Only the Keepers of the Station have access to the life support systems... But Keeper Theobald had not left the Child's side, and neither had I. Could it be that..."
YOU[View Vox-report 12AH890]
PasqalThe vox-recording hisses for some time before you hear a voice: "This is Officer A-282, do you copy? Several generators overheated on the lower levels, chambers A to D are unpowered! The Tech-Priest crew sent to investigate the problem is not responding. Requesting back—" The officer's speech is interrupted by shouting and the recording abruptly ends.
Pasqal"Officer H-123 speaking. Two hundred servants have perished due to explosive decompression of the living quarters. We've located traces of mechanical interference. The preliminary cause is officer sabotage. Crews five, six, and nine are cut off from the main compartment. We have enough oxygen for twenty minutes, may the Emperor save our souls."
Pasqal"Senior station officers, this is the captain speaking. We attempted to contact the Winterscale scion for help, but something is jamming the signal. We never received a reply and cannot be sure it was even sent in the first place. A rescue team is not coming. We are on our own, so remain vigilant. Anyone could be a traitor, you hear me? ANYONE! If you are in doubt, shoot to kill."
PasqalThe following vox-recordings are too badly distorted to make out even a single word.
YOU[View Vox-report 12AH890]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the recent entries of the incident log]
PasqalReport X-880 originator: classified. Date: classified. "The servants close to the Child have started butchering one another again. An order came from above to have their remains reprocessed."
PasqalReport X-886 originator: classified. Date: classified. "The negotiations with the Winterscales were a success. A new batch of servants will arrive in ten moons. Escort them to the laboratory at once, it is imperative that we increase the new retainers' resistance to the Child's powers."
YOU[View Vox-report 12AH890]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the recent entries of the incident log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the station's docking log]
PasqalThe log is almost completely corrupted, but you manage to recover the latest entry: "Identity confirmed: Regent Aaronto Orsellio. Date of visit: classified. Reason for visit: classified. Date of departure: classified."
YOU[View Vox-report 12AH890]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the recent entries of the incident log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the station's docking log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the security and life support logs]
PasqalThe yellow lights above the control panel flicker to life and a singular repeating message streams down the vid-screen: "WARNING! Damage in technical compartments A-12, B-3, D-8, and H-24 detected. WARNING! Living quarters L-10, L-16, L-28 depressurised. WARNING! Unable to access the station's docking system. WARNING! Energy regulation system: unknown error. The station will transfer over to emergency power. Immediate evacuation of the facility is advised. WARNING!"
YOU[View Vox-report 12AH890]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the recent entries of the incident log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the station's docking log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the security and life support logs]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[View the encrypted data]
PasqalSomething buzzes in the cogitator's metallic gut. Several red lumens light up above the vid-screen: "Required access level: security captain or above. Current access level: senior security officer."
YOU[Break through the machine guardians' defences]
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]
PasqalThe vid-screen blinks and the mechanisms in the machine's core emit a quiet hum.
YOU[View Vox-report 12AH890]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the recent entries of the incident log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the station's docking log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the security and life support logs]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[View the encrypted data]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]
PasqalThe vid-screen blinks and the mechanisms in the machine's core emit a quiet hum.
YOU[Request data on the station's Navigators]
PasqalThere is a restless hum in the sacred machine's interior, but soon the required information is projected onto the vid-screen: - Felek Orsellio. Location: main entry hall. Status: deceased. - Theobald Orsellio. Location: upper chambers. Status: alive. - Calomira Orsellio. Location: upper chambers. Status: deceased. - Alexius Orsellio. Location: lower levels. Status: deceased. - Rasmus-Estevan Orsellio. Location: unknown. Status: deceased.
PasqalThe Child. Location: upper chambers. Biometric parameters: rapid heartbeat, elevated body temperature, stress level exceeds the permissible limit. Status: unknown error. ATTENTION! Calming procedures advised. ATTENTION! Upper chambers inaccessible. ERROR: the main elevator mechanism is not powered. ERROR: the control rod is not present. If the rod has been misplaced, immediately contact a station Keeper or the Navis Laboratorum custodian.
YOU[Request data on the station's Navigators]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the log]
PasqalThe archive data stored on the cogitator's local data-crypt is partially corrupted, but you still manage to access the residual logs for examination.
YOU[View Vox-report 12AH890]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the recent entries of the incident log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the station's docking log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the security and life support logs]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[View the encrypted data]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Call Rykad Minoris for help]
PasqalThe system cannot carry out your command despite the eager compliance of the machine spirits. One thing is certain, the problem does not lie in the cogitator's mechanisms.
YOU[Request data on the station's Navigators]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Call Rykad Minoris for help]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Switch to the main chamber controls]
PasqalThe cogs within the sacred mechanism slowly start turning with heavy grinding and clacking. The tired machine spirits grant you access to the station control — or at least its parts that still obey the cogitator.
YOU[Open all doors on the level]
PasqalThe cogitator's vid-screen goes dark as if the machine spirits had fled their mechanical casket. But your assumption is incorrect, as it fills with static just a few moments later. You can barely make out an inscription amidst the flow of rapidly changing symbols.
Pasqal"WARNING! Data corrupted. Processing... Processing... Processing... ERROR. 0100110101100001011011100111010101100001011011000010000001000011011011110110111001100110011010010110011101110101011100100110000101110100011010010110111101101110 is required."
YOU[01101000011000010110110001101100]
PasqalThe cogitator takes a few moments to gather the data from the station's active systems. According to the report, this door has already been opened.
YOU[01101000011000010110110001101100]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main hall]
PasqalThe cogitator takes a few moments to gather the data from the station's active systems. According to the report, this door has already been opened.continues where this line first appears above
PasqalThe cogitator takes a few moments to gather the data from the station's active systems. According to the report, this door has already been opened.
YOU[01101000011000010110110001101100]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main hall]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01101100011010010110001001110010011000010111001001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Library]
PasqalThe cogitator takes a few moments to gather the data from the station's active systems. According to the report, this door has already been opened.continues where this line first appears above
PasqalYou push a few buttons on the control panel, but the system rebels and keeps resetting your commands. According to the data, the compartment you are trying to open is depressurised.
YOU[01101000011000010110110001101100]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main hall]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01101100011010010110001001110010011000010111001001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Library]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011000110110111101101101011100000110000101110010011101000110110101100101011011100111010001110011]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Adjacent compartment]
PasqalYou push a few buttons on the control panel, but the system rebels and keeps resetting your commands. According to the data, the compartment you are trying to open is depressurised.continues where this line first appears above
PasqalThe cogitator takes a few moments to gather the data from the station's active systems and produces the following message: "The protocol has been executed. The passage has been opened."
YOU[01101000011000010110110001101100]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main hall]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01101100011010010110001001110010011000010111001001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Library]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011000110110111101101101011100000110000101110010011101000110110101100101011011100111010001110011]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Adjacent compartment]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[0111010001100101011000110110100001110010011011110110111101101101]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Technical areas]
PasqalThe cogitator takes a few moments to gather the data from the station's active systems and produces the following message: "The protocol has been executed. The passage has been opened."continues where this line first appears above
PasqalThe cogitator takes a few moments to gather the data from the station's active systems. According to the report, this door has already been opened.
YOU[01101000011000010110110001101100]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main hall]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01101100011010010110001001110010011000010111001001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Library]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011000110110111101101101011100000110000101110010011101000110110101100101011011100111010001110011]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Adjacent compartment]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[0111010001100101011000110110100001110010011011110110111101101101]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Technical areas]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[0111001101100101011000110111010101110010011010010111010001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Guard room]
PasqalThe cogitator takes a few moments to gather the data from the station's active systems. According to the report, this door has already been opened.continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011011000110000101100010]
PasqalThe cogitator takes a few moments to gather the data from the station's active systems and produces the following message: "The protocol has been executed. The passage has been opened."
YOU[01101000011000010110110001101100]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main hall]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01101100011010010110001001110010011000010111001001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Library]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011000110110111101101101011100000110000101110010011101000110110101100101011011100111010001110011]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Adjacent compartment]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[0111010001100101011000110110100001110010011011110110111101101101]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Technical areas]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[0111001101100101011000110111010101110010011010010111010001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Guard room]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011011000110000101100010]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Laboratory]
PasqalThe cogitator takes a few moments to gather the data from the station's active systems and produces the following message: "The protocol has been executed. The passage has been opened."continues where this line first appears above
PasqalThe vid-screen blinks and the mechanisms in the machine's core emit a quiet hum.
YOU[Request data on the station's Navigators]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Call Rykad Minoris for help]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Switch to the main chamber controls]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main elevator controls]
PasqalA few manipulations with the switches make you realise the elevator to the upper chambers is blocked.
YOU[Activate the elevator]
Pasqal"Processing query... Confirmed."
YOU[Activate the elevator]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]
PasqalThe vid-screen blinks and the mechanisms in the machine's core emit a quiet hum.
YOU[Request data on the station's Navigators]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Call Rykad Minoris for help]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Switch to the main chamber controls]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main elevator controls]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Step away from the cogitator]
PasqalYou thank the machine spirits and reset the operating protocol.
end of branch
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
PasqalThe elevator has been activated.
YOU[Activate the elevator]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Step away from the cogitator]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]
PasqalThe vid-screen blinks and the mechanisms in the machine's core emit a quiet hum.continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Laboratory]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01100001011100100110110101101111011101010111001001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Armoury]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01100010011000010110001101101011]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Guard room]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011011000110000101100010]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Laboratory]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01100001011100100110110101101111011101010111001001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Armoury]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01100010011000010110001101101011]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Technical areas]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[0111001101100101011000110111010101110010011010010111010001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Guard room]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011011000110000101100010]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Laboratory]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01100001011100100110110101101111011101010111001001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Armoury]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01100010011000010110001101101011]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Adjacent compartment]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[0111010001100101011000110110100001110010011011110110111101101101]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Technical areas]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[0111001101100101011000110111010101110010011010010111010001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Guard room]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011011000110000101100010]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Laboratory]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01100001011100100110110101101111011101010111001001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Armoury]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01100010011000010110001101101011]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Library]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011000110110111101101101011100000110000101110010011101000110110101100101011011100111010001110011]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Adjacent compartment]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[0111010001100101011000110110100001110010011011110110111101101101]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Technical areas]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[0111001101100101011000110111010101110010011010010111010001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Guard room]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011011000110000101100010]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Laboratory]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01100001011100100110110101101111011101010111001001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Armoury]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01100010011000010110001101101011]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main hall]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01101100011010010110001001110010011000010111001001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Library]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011000110110111101101101011100000110000101110010011101000110110101100101011011100111010001110011]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Adjacent compartment]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[0111010001100101011000110110100001110010011011110110111101101101]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Technical areas]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[0111001101100101011000110111010101110010011010010111010001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Guard room]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011011000110000101100010]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Laboratory]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01100001011100100110110101101111011101010111001001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Armoury]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01100010011000010110001101101011]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
Pasqal(sequence)
PasqalPasqal's vox-systems emit a binharic trill. "The spirits of this sacred machine require special purification rituals in order to restore utilisation of the lingua more familiar to the citizens of the Imperium. Requesting access to the device."
YOU"Go ahead."
PasqalPasqal's fingers drum out a resonant crescendo on the control panel as his mechadendrites remove the metal cover and the data-cord slides into the machine's innards. The cogitator's body starts crackling with electrical impulses, and the Tech-Priest nods with satisfaction. A few minutes later Pasqal raises his hands above the machine, chants a brief litany only he can understand and pushes the surviving stump of one of the levers. "My humble prayers have satisfied this machine's requirements."
end of branch
YOU"Thank you, I can handle this on my own."
Pasqal"Acknowledged."
end of branch
PasqalA shiver of static runs across the shattered vid-screen.
Pasqal"WARNING! Data corrupted. Processing... Processing... Processing... ERROR. 0100110101100001011011100111010101100001011011000010000001000011011011110110111001100110011010010110011101110101011100100110000101110100011010010110111101101110 is required."continues where this line first appears above
PasqalThe broken screen flickers with dancing static: "WARNING! Data corrupted. Processing... Processing... Processing... ERROR. Manual configuration is required."
YOU[01101000011000010110110001101100]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main hall]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01101100011010010110001001110010011000010111001001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Library]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011000110110111101101101011100000110000101110010011101000110110101100101011011100111010001110011]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Adjacent compartment]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[0111010001100101011000110110100001110010011011110110111101101101]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Technical areas]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[0111001101100101011000110111010101110010011010010111010001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Guard room]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[011011000110000101100010]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Laboratory]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01100001011100100110110101101111011101010111001001111001]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Armoury]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[01100010011000010110001101101011]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]
PasqalThe vid-screen blinks and the mechanisms in the machine's core emit a quiet hum.
YOU[Request data on the station's Navigators]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Call Rykad Minoris for help]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Switch to the main chamber controls]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main elevator controls]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Step away from the cogitator]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main elevator controls]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Step away from the cogitator]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Switch to the main chamber controls]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main elevator controls]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Step away from the cogitator]continues where this line first appears above
PasqalAfter a brief pause, the data appears on the vid-screen: - Felek Orsellio. Location: main hall. Status: alive. - Theobald Orsellio. Location: upper chambers. Status: alive. - Calomira Orsellio. Location: upper chambers. Status: deceased. - Alexius Orsellio. Location: lower levels. Status: deceased. - Rasmus-Estevan Orsellio. Location: unknown. Status: deceased.
PasqalThe Child. Location: upper chambers. Biometric parameters: rapid heartbeat, elevated body temperature, stress level exceeds the permissible limit. Status: unknown error. ATTENTION! Calming procedures advised. ATTENTION! Upper chambers inaccessible. ERROR: the control rod is not present. If the rod has been misplaced, immediately contact a station Keeper or the Navis Laboratorum custodian.
YOU[Request data on the station's Navigators]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Call Rykad Minoris for help]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Switch to the main chamber controls]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main elevator controls]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Step away from the cogitator]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Call Rykad Minoris for help]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Switch to the main chamber controls]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main elevator controls]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Step away from the cogitator]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
Pasqal(sequence)
PasqalPasqal casts a brief glance at the vid-screen and speaks dryly: "The imminent demise of this void station is affirmed. The damage to its core infrastructure has reached critical mass, at which point further degradation has commenced in a cascading configuration."
end of branch
YOU[View the encrypted data]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the security and life support logs]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[View the encrypted data]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the station's docking log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the security and life support logs]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[View the encrypted data]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the recent entries of the incident log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the station's docking log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the security and life support logs]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[View the encrypted data]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
Entry point 2 of 5
PasqalThe vid-screen flashes furiously and the control panel starts spitting out sparks that bite at your fingers. After a few minutes of desperate confrontation, the cogitator falls silent, once and for all barring you access to the classified data.
YOU[Awaken the cogitator]
PasqalYou turn a few of the remaining dials and pull the activation lever. The cracked vid-screen of the sacred engine flickers. The cogitator's insides emit creaks and groans and the lumens oscillate at random. It takes a while, but eventually the machine spirits do grant you access to the cogitator's systems.
YOU[Request data on the station's Navigators]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Examine the log]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Call Rykad Minoris for help]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Switch to the main chamber controls]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Main elevator controls]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Step away from the cogitator]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Step away from the cogitator]continues where this line first appears above
Pasqal(sequence)
Pasqal"Requesting permission to appease the weary spirits in this creation of the Omnissiah." Pasqal bends over the cogitator, his vox-system chanting a mantra of Mechanical Harmony as his mechadendrites carefully twist dials and push buttons on the control panel. A few minutes later the Tech-Priest reports: "It is done. Access to the archives has been granted."
PasqalMost of the encrypted data has been wiped — you find traces of the purge protocol. Recovery is impossible, but a list of the most recent commands, having been embedded in the machine spirit's consciousness, now flits across the screen in a single creeping line: "ChildDeletePictFlowDisableAccessCodeAnnulStationControlsDeleteActivateShuttleSelfdestructPurgeCommandLog..."
PasqalExploring the archives for a while longer yields a surviving excerpt from the guard captain's report mentioning that the security system had recently been reconfigured without his knowledge. His comment reads: "Only the Keepers of the Station have access to the life support systems... But Keeper Theobald had not left the Child's side, and neither had I. Could it be that..."
end of branch
Entry point 3 of 5
PasqalThe vid-screen lights up with a smattering of unfamiliar green symbols and you hear a peculiar click from somewhere behind you. It appears one of the doors in the chamber has opened.
YOU[Open all doors on the level]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
Entry point 4 of 5
PasqalA muffled howl comes from under the iron shell of the cogitator. No matter how hard you try to overpower it, the system remains inaccessible.
YOU[Open all doors on the level]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Return to the list of the available commands]continues where this line first appears above
Entry point 5 of 5
PasqalThe cogitator's vid-screen is covered in cracks and stained with dried blood. The buttons, switches, and levers were ripped out of the control panel with exceptional cruelty and scattered around the sacred mechanism that now sparks and hisses in agony still refusing to perish.
YOU[Awaken the cogitator]continues where this line first appears above
YOU[Step away from the cogitator]continues where this line first appears above
Pasqal(sequence)
PasqalThe Tech-Priest's vox-systems emit a binharic trill, and his mechadendrites start furiously lashing at the air: "I am recording blasphemy! The person found guilty of such cruelty to a noble mechanism must be sentenced to immediate destruction."